Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Public Relations

I wrote an e-mail to a reporter a few weeks ago. I had been reading his articles and he had been covering a couple topics relevant to one of my clients. The reporter missed a major point - one that was crucial to understanding my client. I explained that point, inculcating him with information, expressing my opinion and offering an interview with my client. I never heard word one from him.

Today I got an e-mail from his editor. He wants to publish my e-mail as a letter to the editor. Problem is, I'm a ghost. The public doesn't know I exist. So don't expect to see my name in print anytime soon. But you'll probably see the letter.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

What's a Gasface?

Greeting readers, it's me, Gasface. Right now you might be asking yourself, 'what exactly is a Gasface?'

There is no simple answer. Sure, Urban Dictionary defines Gasface as a verb meaning to show a sign of disrespect or to make a stupid face at someone you don't like, but they also define it as farting in your partner's face while you 69, so what the fuck do they know anyhow?

To me, Gasface is the sum of its parts: Gas and face.

Gas has a lot of meanings. Everyone knows the obvious ones - like the gas that makes your car go, or the gas you get from eating Taco Bell - maybe you even know a sort of obscure definition, like "man, that party was a gas."

Gas is also a rebuttal to a stupid comment or a flat out lie. Girls that tell me they love country music. That's just gas man. It's tricky though, because it can also mean something really good. Girls that tell me they like my style. That's so gassy.

Face is another word with a lot of meanings. Again, the apparent definition is the place you put your eyes, nose, and mouth. Face is also a term for respect, like saving face. Or another way of saying head, like that girl gives good face. But it's also a replacement for 'burn' or 'zing' in the sense that I gave your mom trunk butt. FACE!

So put them together, gas and face, you get Gasface. If you really want to know what it means, you're going to have to keep reading.